Pein and Konan: The Lies I Tell Myself
by Secret Sheik
Summary: The events in Pein's life make him think about his humanity. And what she really means to him. PeinKonan
1. I Don't Care

I'm seeing a definite streak of Pein/Konan fics coming from myself, but hey, this kinda seems to be my specialty these days. Haven't been able to write much lately, but the graduation process has been quite a pain. Also, special thanks to all my reviewers so far, I've always been a little nervous about writing fan fiction, so your encouragement has been well received. Anyway... here's another fic. Enjoy. Oh yeah. White Zetsu talks in "Regular Sentences" and Black Zetsu talks in "ALL CAPS".

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Pein and Konan: Lies I Tell Myself

Part 1 - "I Don't Care"

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Pein stood on the balcony outside their complex in Amekagure, staring up at the rain obsessively, rapt and vacant at the same time. His wet reddish hair dripped down over his marred headplate, the moisture flattening even the most stubborn spikes. He never knew why he stared up at the rain like this, but something in his memory twinged at the back of his mind whenever he did. Dark, slate gray clouds looked just like his eyes, the same color, the same way everything swirled lazily on the surface. His own red clouds on his cloak fluttered with the breeze, wanting to join their skyborne counterparts, leaving the black sky for blue. Slowly, Konan stepped onto the balcony, staying under the half-roof that clung to the building.

"Pein, everyone has arrived."

He didn't stop staring at the sky, but nodded slightly. "Coming." She turned and left first, and he paused just a moment more, watching as the pouring rain cleansed the filth and sorrow from everything beneath. Or so he hoped.

One glance at her cobalt hair, and she turned around to nod at him in greeting as the rest of his team all made their own unique greetings. Deidara waved with a "Yo, Leader-sama", Itachi said nothing but nodded, Kakuzu muttered a polite "Leader-sama", Kisame was nearly asleep, Hidan said... well, something vulgar, Zetsu bowed respectively, and Tobi ran to glomp the leader swiftly. Konan expertly caught the orange masked one with practiced speed. Every time they met, it was like this. Konan's mouth quirked up into something that may at one time have been a smile, but Pein knew better than to take it at face value - no pun intended.

With one last glance to see if this would be the only interruption, he greeted them with a nod, bringing them to attention. "I have your latest contracts for missions. Hidan and Kakuzu, there's a new lead on a bounty that I'll write up for you. Zetsu, keep scouting as usual. Itachi and Kisame, another feudal lord mission, nothing spectacular, but we need the income. Deidara, Tobi, there's been a disturbance I need you to investigate. It seems that Orochimaru might be there, and I need you to take a look. If you can't handle him, then don't do anything rash. Alright?"

Deidara nodded an affirmative while Hidan and Kakuzu took their written missions, followed by Itachi and Kisame. The hideout would be empty for a while. Tobi glanced up from cleaning the floor with a broom, always the only dutiful one with chores, and nodded as well, picking up a piece of trash on the floor. At least somebody in this group did what he was asked. Even Konan had stared coldly when given some kind of chore, but as soon as Tobi arrived, he insisted on doing anything he could to help his fellow members. Although he was an irritating screwball, Kakuzu had made the point that he was free help.

Pein watched impassively as each team left, Tobi making one last sweep under the couch before he followed after Deidara. After the room was vacated, Pein took one last glance around the room, getting used to the empty feeling. Every time it was a little uneasy to see this lack of motion after the past couple weeks of everyone getting in the way. Konan watched him curiously, but she felt it too. Something wasn't right. Though the place had been empty like this many times before, something told her that it would be emptier soon. What that meant, she didn't want to consider.

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Three days later, during a group meeting, Zetsu used the astral projection technique to report in, but his look was grim. Well, grim for Zetsu, anyway. Pein glanced up and noticed the pained expression on his face. "Zetsu? What happened?"

"Deidara has been defeated. He blew himself up."

Kisame smirked. "Losing members so quickly? I thought that kid was pretty strong."

Itachi frowned. "Who was the one to defeat him?"

Zetsu paused, but showed no other expression. "Sasuke. Though it seems he perished too."

Itachi was silent, and Kisame finally lost his usual grin. "And Deidara's companion?"

Pein spoke next, however. Itachi, Deidara sacrificed himself to rid you of your problem. You should be glad."

Kisame kept up with his previous question. "We're missing someone else, though!"

Zetsu nodded. "It was hard to tell amidst the chaos, BUT TOBI SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN KILLED AS WELL."

Kisame ruminated on this for a second. "Oh, right, Tobi. Guess he couldn't run away again."

Pein frowned slightly, though it was easily hidden by his astral projection. "A man of Tobi's caliber can be found easily. But Deidara was special..."

"He really had a talent for cheering the place up, don't you agree?"

"...I'm leaving. At least mourn for Deidara quietly." Pein frowned again, dispelling his projection, and remained sulking on the terrace. The least they could do was shut up and mourn quietly. Didn't they care? Heck, why did HE care? Members failed every now and then, why did the loss of this one matter so much? Did he really care after all? Did he care that they were losing members one by one, without enough time to replace them?

Konan hung back under the roof of the terrace, and called out. "Pain, he's here. Let's go."

The two approached the other man, hiding in the shadows mysteriously, but Pein recognized him immediately, and spoke cautiously. "How was Sasuke?"

"That sharingan of his will someday be better than Itachi's. We won't get a better chance at this for a long while."

"Time to get the Kyuubi, then?"

"You do it. You are their leader, so don't fail them." The cloaked man chuckled ominously. Something forboding lay ahead. But as the man's orange mask glinted in the light as he angled his head so slightly, the two could detect a red gleam. Uchiha Madara...

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Somehow, he cared. Pein actually cared about a member passing on. Did this mean that he had regained some of his soul? Did he ever have one in the first place?

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And that is the end of part 1. Pretty intriguing eh? No? Maybe? Well, you're the reader, you tell me. Reviews are always awesome. Super-special-awesome, even. Please don't keep me waiting! 


	2. I Don't Doubt

Yeah, so I guess I'm already doing the next chapter. You know the drill, these characters aren't mine, I'm writing this either late at night or early morning (or both!) and I'm really really tired. Enjoy it anyway. Extra thanks to any of my reviewers, you make checking my email seem a bit more tolerable! 

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Part 2 - "I Don't Doubt"

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Hidan and Kakuzu had been lost too. That ninetails boy had even taken out two of Kakuzu's hearts all on his own - in one attack even! Madara pointed this out right away, but Konan objected reassuringly.

"There's no need to talk about our target with such scary language. Pein has never lost a battle."

But Madara chuckled lightly. "True. I've said all I wish to. Tell the others to finish up with their jinchuuriki." He hoisted his cloak over his shoulders, mumbling on his way out. "Soon we'll have what we need. Then everything will be as it should..." He passed between the two of them onto the balcony, glancing back only once. "The sharingan's true power... My power... Uchiha Madara's power..." With a flick of his cloak, he disappeared, and Konan watched after him carefully.

"The sky cries again."

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He would stop this endless rain upon the land. He would end the tears that fell from the heavens.

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And now, even Jiraiya was gone. But so was half his team. This shouldn't have bothered him at all. He had never lost a fight himself. True, one of his Aspects had been lost, but... there were still five of him left. One could be lost. It would be alright to accept that... wouldn't it? He couldn't second guess himself now. Not after all that hard work. He couldn't wonder if he would make it through tomorrow. Of course he would. He couldn't wonder if his techniques were enough to complete the mission. Of course they were. He couldn't wonder whether the other members would desert if things kept up like this. Of course they wouldn't... would they?

There was that feeling again. A sense of dread. It was... worry, uncertainty. He glanced back at Konan, her serene gaze giving him a little hope. Her calm, steady gaze didn't break, she just watched him gaze just as vacantly back at her, never faltering. Somehow, after a moment, this calmed him down. In a strange way, she was a support to him. But even with her there, that nagging feeling in his gut weighed him down. They had lost so much, and gained so little. Only the first three Jinchuuriki had been taken care of so far. Why was this taking so long? How long would it take to recover the rest? Would they even have enough members left to complete not just one, but six more rituals?

Though the worry on his face wasn't apparent, somehow Konan read him like a book, and smiled up at him reassuringly. "You don't need to worry. We don't need the others." She wanted to see that frown disappear just once. It always made her uneasy to see this otherwise infallible leader be racked with something like doubt.

But he frowned yet again, staring at her. "We did. The ritual takes too long without everyone there. It would take too long to get more members. Time is running out."

For his sake, she put on another calm smile, though she was starting to worry just as much as he was. "Pein, you've never lost. Not to them, not even to our mentor. I don't see why you have to worry about any of this. We always did things on our own before."

"Back then, we only had the Rain Country to worry about. It was such a simple matter to take care of things ourselves then. Our opponents were weak. But now... It wasn't supposed to be like this. We amassed the strongest missing nin from any country we knew of, and yet four of them have been taken out in less than a week! Not to mention our ex-member Orochimaru has been taken out as well. Now Itachi has gone to face his brother, and if what Madara says is a good observation, Sasuke may well kill Itachi too. We would only have four members after that! Tell me why that shouldn't cause worry."

She was his companion, his support, and his rock to stand on when the tides turned on him, and because of this, she never let herself doubt. Not openly. He was in a state of desperation, looking for any hope she might give him. She barely had any hope herself, though she didn't doubt either of their abilities. "There was never a need for anyone. We never needed their power. You know that." And she knew that no, he never needed their power, he needed THEM, he needed support and faith, he needed to know that someone was behind him to catch him if he fell. He needed their trust so he couldn't doubt himself.

He sighed slightly. "No, we do still have Madara. If he can do as much as he says, then we should be alright for now." His head tilted slightly, and she noticed almost a hint of a smile. "I am going to miss Kakuzu's accounting skills though..."

Her smile widened a bit more, and she nodded. At least he was recovering... somewhat. The loss of so many not only meant the loss of power, but deep down she wondered if even Pein was grieving. He would stand out in the rain, head held towards the sky, and as the rain fell onto his cheeks, it looked like he was crying. He never truly did... did he? No, he never showed any emotion like that. He barely managed to squeeze out his irritated frowns, much less anything else. But she didn't push him about it, she just changed the topic, to be safe. "We still need to finish up the mission he was supposed to have today."

He glanced up quickly, having forgotten that for a moment. "Oh, right. Another bounty. I remember now. Akimoto Taiki, a slum crime lord. He's nearby in the Rock Country..." Iwakagure. Deidara... "It should only take us a couple days to get there."

She noticed his hesitation on the mention of the Rock Country. "I can do that alone. You need to be here to protect the village."

"Are you sure?"

"I'll be fine, Pein. Just stop the rain for me so I can go."

"...Alright." He stepped from under the balcony and spread his arms wide, hands reaching to the heavens themselves, using all his might to scatter the clouds. Within a minute, the clouds dispersed and the sky shone blue above. "Go, Konan."

"Right." She focused for a moment, her body transforming into sheets of paper, folding themselves into small butterflies, scattering over the landscape. He only stopped the rain for her. Someday, he would stop it for her forever.

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Part 2, Second Half: "I Don't Miss You."

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Pein paced back and forth on the balcony, waiting anxiously to come back. The base was already so empty, the lack of even her presence was a bit much in this oversized complex. He didn't miss it... he couldn't. What was there to miss? The arguments, the cold stares between Deidara and Itachi at the breakfast table, Kakuzu's late-night beatings on Hidan - No, wait, he definitely missed that - Sasori's unbelievably short patience, Zetsu's conversations with himself, Konan's calm, compassionate smile even in the worst situation... There was a lot he could miss, but refused to. Looking back was so much easier than looking forward, but it never got anyone where they needed to be. Forward was the only way he could think.

Ambition. It was a hard, heavy word, it was his very lifeblood, his fuel and his oxygen, the energy in his nerves. Every twitch of a muscle, every motion was spent in the pursuit, everything given up and cast aside for one purpose. All his emotions and fears were lead weights tied to his legs, keeping him from his goal. If only he could cast them aside for all eternity, but there was something about being human that kept those weights firmly chained and locked.

She was late. Very late. His cold gray eyes scanned the clear horizon, his iron will holding back the rain clouds as long as he dared. Although she wouldn't return in paper form, he knew how much she disliked traveling in the rain. Why did he care what she did or didn't like? Why should he hold up the rain just for her? Why did he want to do it just to see that small, sly smile every time he did something for her and her alone?

Finally, she arrived. Tired, panting, and bleeding profusely, she made it as far as the threshold and collapsed. He walked calmly to her side, feeling... concerned? Well, she was his partner, after all. They couldn't afford to ignore injury. She was badly injured, but she extended a large bag of coins triumphantly. "I... got him."

His brow drew together again, frustrated. She needed to be healed. "Good work, Konan. Hold still." He found their medical pack in the bathroom, and he used what little medical knowledge to treat her wounds. They were severe, but he managed to heal the major ones with his chakra.

She turned to glance up at him, somewhat surprised. "I didn't know you could heal with your chakra... you're just full of surprises aren't you?"

His mouth drew into something like a smirk, but not quite a smile. "I guess I am." Truthfully, he had never really needed to use this technique in a very long time, and he had almost forgotten how. But something about how helpless she seemed then reminded him. What was it about her that made him remember things he would just as soon have buried? If she had died back then, would he have ever remembered any of it? Of its own accord, his hand drifted to her forehead to brush those navy locks from her eyes. What made him do that?

She noticed this too, just as curious. "Pein...? Why...?"

There went that half-smile again, running rampant on his face. The words left his mouth before he could shut it. "I missed you."

But she just smiled that same calm smile, reassuring him as always. "I'll be more careful next time, then. Wouldn't want to leave you alone."

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Alone? He always thought he had been alone. But this organization... this... makeshift... family? Did it really make him less than alone?

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END of chapter two. Kinda sorta short, I know, but it's been kinda hard to write. The power went out last night and I wondered if Hell had frozen over and taken my room with it. MAN was it cold. Naturally it woke me up and my brain forced me to write. If there are typos, I blame my shivering. Please R&R, I love seeing reviews.


	3. I Don't Fear

Another chapter, huh? You know the routine, I don't own this. It's fan fiction for crying out loud.

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Part 3 - "I Don't Fear"

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Usually Konan tended to her injuries alone, shutting herself up in a vacant room for the entire day, licking her wounds like the proud dog she was. Today, her wounds were still too severe for her to even move, much less retreat. She had barely made it to the couch before collapsing on it and giving up. Pein approached her with an absurd amount of caution, but when Konan was this badly injured, even he didn't take risks!

"Konan... do you need anything?" He wasn't exactly being attentive or kind. She was more or less completely laid up for who knows how long. And the sooner he could help, the sooner she would improve. Even though these were his main reasons, there was nothing saying that he didn't care to some degree about her personally. They were partners, after all.

She glared at him viciously, but decided to let him help. "Water?" Her toxic gaze didn't leave him for long, her pride holding up even in this state of helplessness. She couldn't lose face in front of him. She wanted to improve, to show him that she was worth just as much as he was. She wanted his attention, his smile, his... anything.

He nodded silently, staying out of her glare as much as possible. She was scary when she was like this! But he stuck to the plan to stay out of sight and not move unless it was absolutely necessary. A female's radar, based on movement, was a formidable thing. He brought out a glass of water for her and retreated just outside her blind spot, waiting silently. Would she lash out anyway? Maybe she would just go back to sleep. And then, her hand went to the dish of chocolates, and his eyes widened. Oh no. No no no...! She couldn't be... He backed away slowly, dreading the consequences of staying here any longer. What he had was a severely injured, PMS-ing kunoichi with an unpredictable temper on his hands, and he didn't want to end up like Hidan after he hid her flower.

He had almost made it into the bathroom to hide for the rest of the day, but she suddenly turned to look at him. "Pein, do we have any more of these?"

His eyes wandered to the now-empty bowl, and he gulped with dismay. Wait, what did he have to fear, really? He was the Akatsuki leader, he couldn't fear his subordinates! So what if they didn't have any more? "N-No... we don't."

Her glare went from ice to fire instantly, and he backed away suddenly, his back now against the wall in a vain hope to get away from this hormonal demon. "There... aren't any?"

Oh yes. He was definitely afraid of this. But he had to overcome it, he had to prove that he could master his own emotions and stand up to this! "Er... No." Right now, he was SO glad that she was too injured to move. But that glare... he knew very well what she would do to him once she could move. His eye twitched as she somehow, in all her rage-filled glory, she managed to get up from the couch, staggering over to look him in the eye.

"Why... didn't you get more earlier?"

He really wished he could morph through walls right now. Anything to escape this inevitable verbal (and probably physical) beating. But he must have had someone looking out for him, because the one person that COULD morph through walls suddenly rose up from the floor, and he glanced over at Zetsu with desperate thanks. "Zetsu! Ah... Do... do you have something to report?"

The black half grinned, knowing that he had interrupted at just the right time. "Yes, Itachi has encountered his brother. IT'S ABOUT TIME HE DID SOMETHING ABOUT HIS LITTLE PROBLEM, DON'T YOU THINK?"

"Yes, right. Thank you for telling me." Saved by Zetsu! Saved by this wonderful two-toned man that forced him to take their discussion into the conference room! If anyone would ever question if he feared Konan, he would outright deny it, but deep down, he knew just how scary she was. He knew what kind of fear she could induce!

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Second Part: "Compassion is a Weakness"

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It had been about a week that Pein stayed out of her way, knowing her moods all too well during that cycle. They had been together for practically forever, after all, and he had gotten into the habit of making himself scarce. But finally, her mood broke, and he was able to come within ten feet of her. And just about time too, as her wounds were almost completely healed, and she even let him take a look.

She also smiled up at him apologetically. "Sorry Pein. I've been acting up again."

But he stared back with his usual calm gaze, nodding slightly. "After all these years, I've gotten used to it. Don't even think about it, alright?"

She sat up on the couch, and shook her head. "No, I feel really bad about it. At least let me make it up to you."

His eyebrow raised slightly. "Make it up to me...?"

"Right, maybe I should be the one to go into the streets today?"

"No, no." He shook his head; he really did like going out and making sure the rain country was still faring well. "I'd much rather go with you."

She nodded slightly, shifting to sit up, and her trademark flower fell to the ground in the process. Her nimble fingers retrieved it swiftly, not wanting to be without it for long. "If that is what you wish, then we shall go together."

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To his people, he was their god, their only salvation in this land. They looked upon him with admiration and trust, knowing that he was the only one who ever dared do anything for their sakes. To them, he was an example of what they could to if they tried their hardest. To himself, he was disgusting. They had taken far too much time to collect all the Bijuu, taken too much time to settle scores with their pasts. Even too much time answering the questions and pleas of his recovering nation. When the two stopped in the afternoon at a small tea house, Konan recognized his sulking mood.

"What's wrong? I thought you wanted to come."

He shook his head quickly. "I did. I was just thinking."

"You're angry again." She glanced up from her tea, her ever perceptive eyes reading him perfectly. After all this time, she knew all of his moods. Angry, sulking, relieved, and impatient. Those were his basic moods, and that was all. Or so she thought.

"Disgusted," he corrected. Somehow he never felt reluctant about sharing his thoughts openly with her, since she knew so well how to react and how to listen.

And as predicted, she just smiled up serenely. "Learning a new mood again?"

The corner of his mouth twitched slightly with amusement, but he suppressed it. "I wasn't satisfied with just four."

"Trying to make an even six, hm?" Her grin hinted that she had seen his amusement, as much as he wished to hide it. "I wonder how many you'll resort to slipping into by the time the day is over."

Amused again, he wondered how shocked she would be if he started making faces at her. It was tempting, just to get a rise out of this woman. "No, I think I'll just keep what I have."

Briefly, Konan wondered what it would be like to see other emotions on his face. "Such a shame, you're letting all the entertaining ones go to waste."

His eyebrow raised slightly, but before he could answer, another figure came up near their table. The young girl gazed up at them with an open mouth, shocked to see everyone's "god" sitting here so close to her reach. Pein glanced down at her absently, but Konan swore she saw just a hint of a smile as he patted the young girl's head. "Are you being a good girl?" She nodded energetically, and he released his hand, pressing a coin into her hand. "Good. Run along now."

Konan didn't watch after the running girl, but watched his face. Something was different about it. It had an odd look... what was it? Her eyes stared carefully, trying to identify whatever it could have been. Compassion. Taking care of others. Even if he was a cold, calculating, ruthless murderer, he still took the time now and then to walk the streets, inquiring about the health and well-being of his subjects. She smiled to herself, wondering very much how many emotions he really had.

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A/N: Gah, sorry about the little delay. School's tough, yeah? I'll get the next chapter up when I can. Thanks for the reviews, they really keep me smiling! 


	4. I Don't Love You

It's about time I started on the fourth chapter. I'm getting a little jumpy! Yes, I'm sure some of you have been waiting for the romance to start, and rest assured, it's finally gotten to that point. You know I save the good stuff for last, yeah? Good. Now, if you're not aware that I do not own these characters... then I wonder about your mental stability. Enjoy, enjoy, the fic follows. And to all of you who ask "Will you ever stop writing Pein/Konan?" all I have to say is no. No no no no never no.

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Part 4 - "I Don't Love You"

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It wasn't too long after that moment in the tea house that Konan seriously began to wonder about Pein's strange mood shifts. One moment he would be contently watching the rain, the next he would be furiously gripping his kunai in distress. To some, this would have seemed like a very small mood change, but to Konan this was disturbingly large. Normally he would brood for at least an hour before slipping into irritation, and finally into anger. He was slow to change. But now, he would slip into anger or back into neutral in a mere second, and he was getting difficult to predict. He had shown compassion, amusement, disgust. Did he have the capacity to go deeper than that? Could he ever love? Wait, why was she thinking that? Since when did she care about that?

Then, she came to the miserable truth. She did have the capacity to love, and in some strange way, she loved him. His insistence on lacking emotions and going on without looking back had never completely absorbed her. Her feminine nature alone made her more receptive to anyone else's feelings. By chance, it seemed, she had picked up that elusive emotion called love. What was it, though? Why did it make her feel like she was having a heart attack and a stroke at the same time? That pain in her chest, the absent numbness of her body as her mind wandered freely in this lazily drifting thought...

"Konan?" Pein looked over at her when she stopped walking. "Konan, are you... alright?"

She realized that she had stopped moving, her body at a loss when her mind stopped sending signals in an attempt to fathom her thoughts. Her mouth suddenly remembered how to speak. "N-Nothing, I'm fine." She concentrated on walking again, following him blindly.

He watched after her for a moment curiously. What was going on? Well, whatever it was, it seemed to be alright now. Then again... he knew her well enough to not dismiss this right away. She was thinking about something. He was well aware that his moods lately had been a little different, and he wondered if he might have snapped at her accidentally at some point. Why would he care about that, though? In the past, he never apologized or felt bad about snapping at her if she bothered him. She usually did it while he was trying to work or figure something out. If he felt nothing then, he should feel nothing now. But he did feel something. He felt... guilty?

It was his turn to stop in his tracks, and Konan crashed head-first into his back. He apologized for stopping so suddenly, but then she stared up in shock. "Pein...? Did you just... apologize?" Since when did the stoic leader apologize to a subordinate?

He was nearly touching her, he was that close, and he hid his flustered, blushing face inside the collar of his cloak. "Oh... well, it was my fault. I shouldn't have stopped."

Now she was really thrown off balance! He admitted to being at fault? And he didn't even step back to increase the distance between them. Could it be possible that he felt some sort of connection with her after all this time? How could it be? She gazed up at him curiously, and he didn't shy away from eye contact like usual. Anyone else would have been afraid to look him in the eye, afraid of what that swirling gray abyss could do. But when he was around, she was fearless. With him, she felt comfortable with looking danger in the face and confronting it courageously. She had to tell him, whether he felt the same way or not. She had to know once and for all. "Let's just go home." He nodded slightly and trailed so he walked beside her instead of in front, and they spent the rest of their trip in silence, the moon slowly rising in the distance.

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What was a god without an angel? What would he be without her at his side? He couldn't help but watch her unblinkingly as she gracefully slipped into the joined bathroom after shedding her Akatsuki cloak. A pause, then the sound of running water as she turned on the shower. In her absence, he thought about everything that had happened so far. What did she really mean to him? Once in a while he would display an emotion to her that he hadn't felt, much less used, in several years. It didn't matter which one, but every now and then his mask slipped, revealing him piece by piece for what he really was. And, he realized with another pang of guilt, he had never bothered to learn anything about her. Granted, being the working leader of the Akatsuki, gathering Bijuu and running the rain country was not only time consuming but difficult. But he should have cared, at least a little.

He made up his mind to be a little kinder to her. She emerged from the shower wrapped in her long towel, signifying that it was his turn. Normally he would have gone in without incident, but his eyes curiously glanced at her bare shoulders briefly as he walked by, and though he tried to be sneaky, she still noticed. Turning his eyes quickly back to the open door, he regained what little composure he had left and began his own showering routine. He was extremely predictable when it came to cleanliness. Every other day, he would go in right after she did, and took precisely ten minutes. She never could figure out how he managed to do that so accurately, but Pein was just strange in that way. Thirty seconds. Water turned on. Two minutes, a clunk as he dropped the soap. Every single time! Even an S-class shinobi wasn't immune to dropping the soap! Ten minutes. She was still combing out her severely tangled hair in front of the mirror as he came out behind her, not pausing to run his hand once through his own hair.

And then he stopped. He took a step back to the mirror, inspecting his hair carefully. Unpredictable for once...? She had never known him to be vain. Heck, she never even knew why he got all those piercings, but again, he was strange like that. She never questioned anything about him. Then he shrugged, leaving his hair the way it was, and stepped aside to stretch. He turned aside for a moment as she neared her closet, dressing lightly for the evening. Summer had hit in full strength, and neither wanted to sweat in the evening heat. Even so, Pein rarely wore more than his casual pants even in winter.

She sat down on her bed with a shudder, not at all cold but worried. There was so little time left to capture the rest of the Bijuu, and they had so many left. Only four had been taken, so five remained. Who knew how much of a time window they had before the ritual didn't work as well? And at this rate of losing members... it already took far too long to complete a cycle. He must have noticed her trepidation, since he didn't immediately go to sleep but instead watched her as he sat on his own bed, gazing across the short span.

"You're worried too." It wasn't a question. He knew she was worried.

She nodded once slowly, looking up to meet his eyes again. "I am. I keep thinking we might run out of time before we finish collecting the Bijuu."

He stared back, his nearly imperceptible tilt of his head seen only by her. She wasn't worried for their safety, only the lack of the one thing they could never control. Time was cruel, always slipping away. "Even if we run out of time, we can keep the ones we have until the time is right again. We can wait." Suddenly he smirked, a hint of mischief flickering across his face. "Are you worried that we'll get bored in the meantime?"

She smirked with the same amount of mischief. Why was he so playful all of a sudden? "Perhaps. The free time would be a little much, wouldn't it?"

He leaned closer, that grin refusing to leave his face. "You might have to resort to taking up another hobby in addition to origami!"

Her face contorted into a wider grin. Whatever mood he was in, she definitely preferred it over all the others, and she leaned closer as well. "What hobby could possibly be as entertaining as origami?"

Before he could think up a suitable answer on his own, his body had a much better idea as he leaned forward to close the gap between them, doing the most ridiculous thing he ever could have imagined. He kissed her. Why? No, wait, why not? Why hadn't he done this yet? Why was he doing this now? Why had he never imagined this possibility? It wasn't a light peck either, it was a full, lingering kind, one he had never even known he was capable of. What surprised him more was that she didn't mind. Exactly opposite of that, even! She seemed to need this just as badly as he did, and she added her own response into that daring kiss. She must have been holding out for quite some time, judging by her energy. How long had she waited to show this to him? He had to know. Pulling back was difficult, between how much he wanted to keep going and her trying to do the same, but he left just enough space between their lips to ask.

"How long, Konan?"

She paused, his warmth making her shiver with anticipation. "Always. I never stopped wanting you."

He stared back at her eyes, but she didn't look away like everyone else. Only she never feared the endless swirl of the Rin'negan, never thought he would hurt her. It was complete trust, total communion, absolute surrender. Even as he drew close again, reconnecting that kiss, she never pulled away, but went so far as to pull him closer, nearly losing his balance as yanked him over to her bed. He gave in to her demand, and as he lay there on top of her, she kissed his cheek absently, letting her hand drift down his well defined muscles. Her eyes drifted across his shoulders before meeting his eyes again.

"Pein?"

He smiled, just a little. She was the only one who used his name, but he never wanted so much to hear it from anyone else. "Hmm?"

"Could we stay like this tonight?"

He nodded slightly, then lay next to her so she could put her head on his chest. Maybe she was worried, or scared, maybe a little lonely. Whatever the case was, with her there, he felt more comfortable than he had ever been. In the back of his mind, he remembered what such a feeling towards someone was called. Love? Another new experience. One more added emotion to what was now a fairly long list for him.

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A/N: That's it for now. Wha, you want more? Hee hee... Well, not right this second alright? Happy V-day, by the way. I'll be writing a super special P/K fic later JUST for today! Be sure to keep your eyes out for it! 


	5. Time to be Honest With Myself

I know you've been waiting for the final chapter of this. Your patience is being rewarded, so RELAX! I don't own these characters. Enjoy already!

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Part 5 - "Time to be Honest With Myself"

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Pein sat on the edge of the compound, watching the sky as it rained on him. He didn't mind the cold and the damp, he just watched in rapture as the sky cried in his stead. The sky cried... it was just like what Yahiko used to say... what he used to believe before... His brow furrowed as he remembered those old days. Why did he even care what happened back then? He was dead, and it was so long ago. Emotions were such a troublesome thing, why did he bother with them?

"Pein?" Konan walked out onto the balcony carefully, and his gaze softened at her arrival. She was why he bothered. She meant the world to him.

He nodded a greeting before she sat beside him. "Yes Konan?"

She slid close, and rested her head on his shoulder. "Nothing, I guess I just wanted to watch the rain with you."

His eyebrow raised slightly, but he didn't say anything. Since when did she like the rain? She was paper and he was water, they shouldn't even mix. And yet behind closed doors, paper and water mingled in ways he never thought possible. He had realized that he wanted her for his own, and he was just as possessive as she was, neither wanting to share. It was a combined selfish love, raw and untamed. Though they may have been impassive and subdued around others, when they were alone it was a completely different story. Without the world to frown down and judge them, they were free.

They sat there for a long time, just watching as the endless rain poured from the sky in a vicious torrent, slicking the shallow roof beneath them. Even next to his warm figure she shivered, and he watched her with concern. "Let's go inside."

But she shook her head. "Just a little longer." He nodded once hesitantly, but pulled her closer to him, keeping her as warm as he could. Looking up at the tears that fell from the sky, in a way he was glad that at least one of them could cry for everything horrible that happened in this world. He had long since lost the will to cry, he was too weak to curl over in despair and mourn. Konan stared up with rapt attention, gazing up and letting the rain fall down her slender cheeks, and for a time it seemed that she too could cry. How did they lose their will to be weak? Why did they give up being human?

Playing God, immortality, unlimited power, no weakness... it came at a terrible price. It came at the cost of their humanity. Giving up emotions meant they couldn't laugh, or love, or even smile in joy. They couldn't hurt or cry or even truly live. What good was all this power if it left them too frail to even extend a hand in kindness? Why did they pursue this life so full of emptiness?

He needed to come clean - with himself.

He didn't want this.

He never wanted this.

He only wanted her.

He was capable of love, hatred, joy, despair, selfishness and selflessness, ying and yang. He wasn't a God, he was human.

And most importantly, he was alright with that.

His grip tightened on her shoulder, clutching her as firmly as he could without hurting her, and her eyes darted to his uncertainly. But he nodded to her reassuringly, stretching his hand out to the sky, clearing the clouds with the force of his chakra and willpower, the wispy formations swirling around the star stuffed sky above. As he gazed into the heavens themselves, her breath caught in her throat as she saw the reflection of the stars and constellations in his eyes, swirling forever in the whirlpool of the Rin'negan. She watched with awe, gasping again as the stars fell from the sky in a meteor shower. He couldn't have caused such a wonder, but maybe he timed it just right. Maybe the stars fell in an attempt to outdo the power that worked beneath them.

The horizon glowed hazily as the shower thickened, each meteor tearing the sky with a streak of light, accompanied by the distant storm's lightning. Even the grandest jutsu couldn't outdo the wonders of nature. For once, they both felt small and helpless, a tiny speck of life under these orbs of fire that have lasted since before anyone had been born, before humans had even been created, when the earth they stood on was still a chunk of rock floating aimlessly in space. What a joke they must seem beneath such a monstrosity. How insignificant were their futile wars, accomplishing nothing more than death and chaos.

And yet, the universe itself was born of chaos.

Without the constant explosion and implosion, the universe wouldn't exist. Not black holes, not suns, not life or anything at all, just a blank vaccuum hidden in black space.

If the universe was nothing but chaos, were humans doomed to constant chaos?

Was the meaning of life merely to kill or be killed?

Were they created simply to fight against each other until only the strong survived?

All I want is your love. War, chaos, Hell... nothing can take away love.

He didn't realize he had said this out loud, but when Konan turned to him, and he turned back to her, she nodded to him slowly. "No. Nothing can take that away."

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A/N: That's it. Seriously. I'm done with this story, and yes I know it was short, but I only had this much left to add to the story. Don't get mad, at least I left off on a good note. Kinda philosophical, haha... Er... yes, anyway, thank you for reading yet another Pein/Konan fic of mine, be sure to keep a watch on more stories by me! I do take requests, just keep them safe and sane. 


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